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Tell Me Where It HurtsYou could be any age and it would hit you – that love can make the speed of your blood change as it ran through your body. And love could open the doors that were once slammed in your face. And when she fell in love, she stopped dreaming in black and white and began to dream in rainbows and prisms.

That was the beginning – the end became a blur.

When they argued, mostly because of minor misunderstandings, he would sit without expression – listening to her plea her case. And then, because he often couldn't find the words – he would borrow someone else's and calmly discount all that she had previously said.

'I wanna stand
I am more than one 
For many, the belief is that there is no such thing as death - but merely a changing of worlds. She wondered if this wold could be stumbled upon accidentally. She mused quietly whilst watching the man on the operating table in front of her.

Could he access this world?

She bent forward, almost touching him with her hair as she prepared to whisper in his ear. Before she could an exasperated voice hissed at her from behind.

"Dr Sophie!" A nurse pushed her aside and began preperation. Sophie stepped back guiltily. She wanted nothing more than to be in the world that her daughter had slipped into without a whisper six months ago. She would
Here lies the truthI found myself trapped in a whirlpool of the  might have beens  - and I did what any ordinary person would do and spent most of my life trying to climb out. And then I realised I was doing it all wrong. You might not ever be able to climb out - but you can wait a bit longer and somebody will come along who is more than capable of jumping down to your level - with a bit of rope.

You wouldn't know the truth about me by casting an eye over my body. You wouldn't find it in the crease of my smile or the green of my eyes. You couldn't see it in the way my hair falls forward because I'm feeling shy. You just couldn't. What I once had could never be
What can I get you?She put her brave face on, as I stepped into her room. There was that fleeting pause between time alone and time with company. I had encroached on her time alone, and she wanted to look brave in front of me. I both admired and resented her for her casual slip into a false emotion. She was dying.

I wanted to ask,  What can I get you?  but my mouth couldn't find the words. My tongue dried up and my lips broke when I attempted an empathetic smile. I had more control than had previously been in my grasp before stepping into her room. She relied on me for all things vital in life. She  needed me.

Could I bring her the world? In just a few short
Confessions Of A Cyclothymic
We both tried without relent,
But our salvation would not come,
We've said all we can say,
And we've done all that can be done.

We can't survive my constant pushing,
Or your brave tugging of my heart,
We wont ever reach a perfect phase,
Because we know we're better apart.

In my Euphoric phases I loved you,
In my Dysthymic I pushed you away,
Yesterday I spoke of marriage.
But tomorrow I'll lead you astray.

So my dear you know it hurts me,
To say these things to you,
But my confessions of Cyclothymia,
Are long since overdue.
A Lifetime of TortureThey brought death that day. It wasn't planned, but it was predicted. We slept without fear but woke with dread pouring from the creases of our screams and...

And if I told you everything I saw, you would not sleep again. So I wont. But I will tell you this.

They might have only brought death that one day, but it has lingered in the air for every minute of every hour since. It hides in the drains and the gaps between fingers. You can't see it anymore, but you know it's there. It's in the shadows of the buildings that once were respected. The factories that provided so much work and shade for the town that struggled in the glaring heat.

Dea
Postcard From The PastTo a future love,

It's been 21 years now – and I feel that it's time I wrote to tell you it's okay to come home.  I know I did things and felt things that may have kept you away, and I apologise for that, but I'm ready to meet you now.

They say that there is someone out there for everyone, and that one day we all meet our soul mate. I'm finding it hard to accept this prophecy and I guess most people would until that day arrives. That day when they meet the one that they'll share their time with. I need you to prove them right, otherwise I'll always be just another non-believer.

I know who you are and what you'll be like. I don't know
The JourneyShe grew up so quickly,
And began to never hold
Onto my hand
for the sake of it .
Until we reached the top
of
the
stairs
and then her
palm kissed mine
as we walked with care
and she never really knew it
but I always wished silently for
the journey down each step to become
e
n
d
l
e
s
s
IfIf I were a painter,
I'd paint your memories,
Your earliest day, and quirky way,
I'd paint you easily.

If I were a poet,
I'd scribble you some lines,
Of flower days, and country ways,
and other loving times.

If I were an author,
Your story I would write,
On every page, a different age,
as you slept alone at night.

If I were a teacher,
I'd give you all I know,
Of Classic lit and Ancient script,
And language as you grow.

If I were your lover,
I'd love you till the end,
Kiss you first, and quench your thirst,
and hold you while you mend.

But I am an observer,
In your heart, always a friend.
And there I see,
The BalladYou once told me music could be made from anything in the world. I didn't believe you for a long time. I used to drive the streets of where we loved hearing soft murmurs of music in the folds of the tree trunks and the ripples of the rivers. I understood that music could come from the very depths of some  being . But not from  anything .

When words fail me,
Listen to my Musique,
Fold into the Melody,
Of a haunting Echo.

I listened hard when I walked through cool green fields of tall grass leaning to its neighbours. I heard the beat of an owls wings last night - you probably wouldn't  believe me if I had told you that I could p
I am not myself anymoreDeath lay in the middle of the lawn this morning. There was no frost or early morning dew, instead a cool grey palour explored the sky with fingertips of gruel. There was nothing to suggest that anything else had changed, only the smell of grief and the echo of regret crossed into the morning air.

As Death lay, the sun rose and lit up the curling tips of springtime petals. The leaves on trees crackled and stretched almost imperceptibly. They shook away the yawns of Winter without a backward glance. Hungrily, with two steps to the left and a raunchy shake of boughs they jived into Spring.

Life continued as Death lay. The groans of people as
Call off the searchWhen I first heard about love
I began my search,
Blindly.

Looking for the missing piece,
to fill my heart,
Completely.

But true lovers never first time meet,
They are inside each other,
From the start.
Finding the TruthWhen a person goes missing, your mind traverses the peaks of the  could and maybes  until you fall down the slopes and hit the lake of  what ifs.  Fearing the worst and then some more, you expect to find nothing more than a still and lifeless body of the being that you once knew.

You search and search with your manipulated mind becoming a map of the roads they once took and the paths they soon might. You define them by who they are, never once letting the thought cross your mind that maybe... just maybe  it's what they are capable of when you least expect it that makes them the person you love.

And when you finally find the missing person,
I do not know your name today I  do not know your name today,  
Nor the colour of your eyes,
But I see you in the living men,
Adorned with polished pride.

I do not know your name today,  
Nor the colour of your skin,
But I see you in the marching bands,
The tap of drumsticks upon tin.

I do not know your name today,   
Nor where you died in fight,
But I know this, that you aren't lost,  
As we remember you tonight.

I do not know your name today,  
Or whether you fought through choice,
But be you volunteer or commandeer
Our unity today will be your voice.
Tell Me Where It Hurts -2She frequently prayed to a God she never believed in – hoping that one day something would prove her wrong. Her quirks were a secret, her prayers often muttered in her head rather than out loud. She put on an act to hide her fear and her sadness because she wanted to blend in. More often than not her jaw clenched and her fists curled when she thought about John. When she remembered that he had no qualms and he didn't hide anything.

It hurt.

He carefully outlined Orion's Belt on the evenings when the crickets choked on their sultry utterances. Quite often, she wouldn't see it but he was sure that the small pattern of stars held up the n
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The HappeningAnd this? This he could remember. The constants in his life began when the sun rose but never made another appearance until it set. He waited throughout the day for this  happening because it was the last string of sanity that he could grip onto. When the sun disappeared and the shadows lengthened? Well that was when depression would sneak its hands around his neck and into his memory, removing yet another thing that he wanted to keep safe forever.

He was afraid to sleep.

Afraid because when he woke up another thread of normality had gone. And even though the sun rose, the gaps in-between and the hours he had to wait to see it sink, grew wi

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The Change

:iconkaz-d:

Alzheimers had not arrived with the air of an unexpected guest. Guests were friends or acquaintances somewhere along the line. And this disease had never been one of those. And deep down – it was never unexpected.

He hadn't spoken a word until they passed the electronics aisle in the supermarket. They had their arms linked as they pushed the trolley between them and she felt a gentle tug as he slowed to a halt. He muttered something and she gently persuaded him to speak up.

'Convection...microwave.....' He mused in barely more than a whisper. Then he turned watery blue eyes on her, imploringly.

'I used to know what those words meant.' He explained helplessly. Her voice tripped on something and in the end she swallowed the words of comfort back down and patted his arm.

'We all forget things.'

He smiled vaguely at her, 'You all remember them eventually though.'
:iconkaz-d:
<tt>
This happened a while ago - it's not fiction. And it really hurt.
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:icondark-knight-thor:
~dark-knight-thor Apr 15, 2012
I've never experienced anyone in my family having Alzheimer's, but even the thought of someday having it terrifies me to no end.
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:iconkaz-d:
^Kaz-D Apr 15, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Me too :(
Reply
:iconmarjoleink:
~marjoleink Jan 20, 2012  Professional Photographer
I watched my mum gradually disappear into a mist - getting 'vague': it was a long time of gradually saying goodbye. In the end, she was tired, and peacefully died in her sleep. At least, till the end, she still recognized my dad (and me) and they still enjoyed each other's presence.

Thank you for posting this. It's moving.
Reply
:iconkaz-d:
^Kaz-D Jan 20, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
:heart:
I'm so sorry :(
:heart:
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:iconolmountainwoman:
=OlMountainWoman Dec 24, 2011  Professional Photographer
Every Female on both sides of my family have succumbed to the disease when they get older, Im watching it take 3 of my aunts and my Grandma. Its frightening, but the recent breakthroughs give hope.
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:iconkaz-d:
^Kaz-D Dec 25, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
:heart:
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:iconlailatovluna:
Mood: Sadness ~lailatovluna Oct 29, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I will share this with my dad, I hope he has enough left to understand that it means he is not alone. <3
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:iconkaz-d:
^Kaz-D Nov 2, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
:heart:
Keep strong :)
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:iconjoyrascal:
~joyrascal Aug 13, 2011
Great poem. My Greatgrammy had Alzheimer's and died a year ago. It isn't easy.
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:iconkaz-d:
^Kaz-D Sep 1, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
I'm sorry to hear that :(
It isn't is it :hug:
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